My "New" Gadget

Enough about the iPad. Really, I've kinda had my fill. I'm sure it's novel and all (pun intended, since it's said to be a Kindle/Nook killer) but I've got something better. Not many people know about it, but it's been around for awhile, under the radar.

It's called the iPad Small. Trust me, it's great. Not only can you do almost everything a full-sized iPad does, but it FITS RIGHT IN YOUR POCKET! Wow! Check this out!

Amazing.

(Disc-lame-er: There is no such thing as an iPad Small. It's actually an iPod Touch/iPhone. The iPad doesn't really exist either. It's just an iPod Giant.)

The Future is Now!

Company: Hewlett-Nintendonysoft

Product: The most complete gaming/social networking/computer entertainment system ever created. It's called the PlayWiiFaceBoxStation3-60.

Operating System: HN Windinux SnowTiger X (with optional downgrade to Windows 7 or Vista, one of which will not work, ever)

Interface: Choice or combination of Keyboard/Mouse and/or sixaxis motion joymotestickchuk (comes with flashlight and lolipop, batteries not included)

Some Launch Titles:
*Hewlett-Nintendonysoft Office Suite 2015 Professional Plus Minus Longdivision
*Super Final Mario Fantasy XX ODST Universe
Text of Duty: Modern Warcraft 8
Left for Zelda 3: Resident Hero 6: Fatal Final Fallout 4: Boomstick
Adoborel Dreamphotofireshop Publishworks Pro
Sonic the Hedgehog

MSRP $5,999.98

Wow! All this for LESS THAN $6,000!!

*titles included with purchase

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(Super Final Mario Fantasy XX ODST Universe comes with a free six-minute MMO trial, before you pay the minimal $50/day fee. 0.06% discount for those who pre-pre-order!!)

Conversations with Li'l Chaos (the 3-year-old) Part 2

So, I'm in the kitchen, cutting a lemon, when I hear a small voice from the dining room ask, "Daddy, am I a freak?"

"Yes, Trin. Yes, you are most certainly a freak."
"I know I'm a freak."
(insert brief silence here)
"Freak freak freak freak. Freak freak freeeeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaaak. I'm a freak."
"Yup, you're a freak."

My daughter's a freak.
The end.

From the Why-Do-I-Bother Dept. - Part 1

Me: Livy, before you start playing that game, you should put your big water bottle on the dining room table so Nixie doesn't grab it and run off.
Olivia: ...
Me: Liv! Did you hear me?
Olivia: No.
Me: I said, before you start playing that game, you should put your big water bottle on the dining room table so Nixie doesn't grab it and run off.
Olivia: (grabbing the water bottle) Nixie, can you go put this on the table for me?
Phoenix: Yeah.

WTF

Rear-Facing Back Seat Children

A brief car conversation between our oldest daughters and my wife. True story.

Julia: Mom! Olivia just said that man in the car behind us is ugly.
Raven: (chuckles) Livy!
(brief silence)
Raven: Well... is he?
Julia: (reluctantly admits) Yes...

Your Daily Dose of Stupidity (10/7/09)

CALGARY, Alberta (Reuters) - A man suffered injuries to his arms after he and a friend hopped the fence at a Canadian zoo early on Monday and stuck his hands into the tiger exhibit, zoo officials said.

The Calgary Zoo said the two men sneaked into the facility after midnight and headed to the Siberian tiger enclosure, where one of the men climbed over an outer fence.

"He did not enter the exhibit, but did come into contact with one of the tigers and sustained significant injuries to his arms," the zoo said in a statement.

Alerted to the situation, security guards took the alleged intruders to their office, where the injured man was treated before being rushed to hospital.

Police are investigating.
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Jorj Says:
Police are investigating?? What is there to investigate?? How about investigating the questionable mental faculties of this idiot who thought it was a good idea to sneak into a zoo and stick his arm into a TIGER CAGE! There's one case for you where stupidity actually WAS painful. Moron...

Conversations with Li'l Chaos (the 3-year-old) Part 1

Trinity: Get me a drink.
Me: ...
Trinity: Get me a drink.
Me: Try that again.
Trinity: Please get me a drink.
Me: Try asking.
Trinity: Can you please get me a drink?
Me: Yes. What do you want?
Trinity: Open the fridge. (she's nowhere near the fridge, so she can't see what's in it, even if I do open it.)
Me: We have milk, water, and apple juice.
Trinity: I would like apple juice.
Me: Okay.
Trinity: Is it apple?
Me: What do YOU think? Is it APPLE Juice?
Trinity: Yup.
Me: ...
Trinity: Is it Apple?
Me: Trin, if it's APPLE juice, do you think it would have APPLE in it?
Trinity: Yup.
Me: Okay then.
Trinity: Is it apple?

These are the type of conversations we have on a daily basis. {sigh}