This Topic Has No Topic

I'm writing to rant, and ranting to write.
Here are some things I hate:

-VW Beetle drivers who take WIDE turns. Seriously?

-Drivers who go out of their way to cut you off so they can continue to go slow without anyone in their way.

-Not being able to talk to an actual human being on the phone when I call customer service numbers.

-Talking to human beings who I can't understand when I call customer service numbers. "Yeah, can I get the automated voice back, please? It was more helpful than you."

-The "Stand Clear - Automatic Sliding Door" stickers. WTF?? Why am I going to stand clear?? If it swings out and hits me, IT'S BROKEN!

-Broken automatic sliding doors. Man, I feel dumb standing in front of this thing, after almost walking into it.

-When one side of a double door is locked. I almost always choose the locked one to try to open. Someone is seriously out to make me feel like an idiot. Unlock them both! Just in case I feel the sudden need to burst through them like a super hero!

*disclaimer - may be considered icky*
-Urine on the floor of the men's room. Dude, it's not that big. Take a step in. We're aiming (pun intended) for cleanliness here, not distance.

-People who set their cell phone to "speaker" and then HOLD IT IN FRONT OF THEIR FACE ANYWAY. (I drive past these geniuses on a regular basis.) You're not thinking this through, are you? You've got the damn phone IN YOUR HAND! What's the difference between holding it to your ear and holding it in front of your face?! A few inches, maybe? Either buy yourself a mount, so you can use the speaker feature without looking like a complete loser, or just talk on it like a normal, sane, pre-cancerous human being. Better yet, hang up and drive, because you are obviously incapable of logical thought with that thing in your hand.

-Ketchup juice. yeah, I said it.

-Cold pizza. Sorry, I just can't do it.

-Tomatoes. Here's where I'm weird. (Shoosh, I know what you're thinking.) I like just about everything that's made with tomatoes, but I can't stand actual tomatoes. It's a very strange, alien, larval fruit-thing. Nice-looking on the outside, slime and seeds on the inside. Sorry, but I prefer my fruit to be solid all the way through. Tomatoes aren't done yet. Ever. Peppers are made right, but I don't like them, either.

-People who, when they cross the street in front of your car on foot, run halfway, then stop to walk once they are in front of you. It's as if they are saying, "Whoa, I gotta hurry up before they change their mind!" Then, "Haha, you can't go now because I'm here." Sometimes I just want to start rolling forward when they do that. Maybe it'll scare them into continuing that little sprint they didn't want to finish.

I guess I lied. We had a topic. A somewhat angry topic, but oh well. I hope you're at least somewhat amused. There are, of course, plenty of other things that tick me off, but my anger tank is empty. I'm off to enjoy the nice weather. The sun makes me happy. Right before it burns my eyeballs out of my head.

Peace OutSide!