This is going to be an interesting ride...

I've moved my blog over to Tumblr.

I can now be found over at my new MeshBoats site.
If you have bookmarks, please update them, as any new content will be at Tumblr. Most of my posts will still be duplicated here, but check on the Tumblr, just to be safe.


Wednesday, June 19, 2013

What it’s like to walk down a street when you have autism...

What it’s like to walk down a street when you have autism or an ASD (by weaveintothewin2) (WATCH BOTH VIDEOS WITH HEADPHONES ON!)

Oh. Em. Gee. This. This is exactly what it’s like. It’s why I wear dark sunglasses any time I walk outside, even if it’s raining, and sometimes want to keep them on when I walk into a building (and if I don’t, I’m squinting like a blind man.) It’s why I hate cities (I live in a quiet, woodsy area.) All of this… with the exception of the brightness… it’s bearable on a good day, but I notice it all, without being able to pinpoint any particular thing, and it can make it difficult to concentrate on anything. And then there’s this:

This is almost exactly how I feel going into Walmart or other busy stores at times. It’s simply too much!! I hide my anxiety really well, but I’ve told people (and they think I’m joking) that going to Walmart literally makes me want to punch someone. The visual processing issues don’t apply to me, but the noise… oh gawd the noise! The first time I watched the video I followed the instructions (as I hope you did) and I sat there nearly in tears because of how overwhelming it was. My heart raced, I got hot flashes… my anxiety level escalated just by watching that video!

I decided, at that point, that I had to post these two vids here, because I think more people need to see/hear/experience these things for themselves. Then maybe they won’t think it so strange that I wear sunglasses 75% of the time. Then maybe they’ll understand why I dislike shopping at malls, and why it makes me feel so tired. The internal meltdown this sensory overload causes (I am able to internalize the majority of my meltdowns so I don’t flip out) literally drains me. I feel tired. I get cranky. Even my shoulders and neck start to feel sore for seemingly no reason. There was a time when I didn’t mind shopping so much with friends, but I always felt the same afterwards; the fatigue, the soreness. And the older I get, the worse it gets, and I now try to avoid shopping in busy stores altogether, if I can help it. If I do have to go grocery shopping, I try to go on a Sunday, an hour before closing, so it won’t be busy.

I know I’ve said previously that I’m a “proud aspie,” but that doesn’t mean it’s all good. These are some of the things that make it difficult to be like this. I’m glad someone decided to make videos attempting to depict just what life can be like from inside the head of an autistic/aspie. For the most part, I like how my mind works, but I don’t always like what my mind does. Seemingly normal and banal things can be very unpleasant. Sounds that most people would find unnoticeable can be downright unbearable to someone on the autistic spectrum, and these videos bring some of that to the forefront. I’m glad they exist.

via Tumblr

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